Come to the University of Sex

Getting trippy down memory lane

Welcome to the University of Sussex said the sign by the A27 on the first day of term.

A tin of paint and a day later and we would all be coming to the sexiest uni in the country!

This time 33 years ago I was a fresher. It doesn’t feel like three decades have passed since graduation but then you remember how things have changed! And suddenly I feel old…. really old!

For today’s Freshers, this is what it was like at Uni in the olden days. I’m surprised we survived!

Imagine sharing one phone between 120 people. This phone only makes outgoing calls and is in a hallway affording zero privacy. There will always be a queue of people waiting to use the phone, so don’t expect to talk about anything remotely personal or for more than 50p worth of chat time — yes you have to put money in the slot to get it to work. It’s OK though because we all carry cash or cheques (with cheque guarantee cards). You can’t make a phone call with a cheque though. All London numbers are prefaced with 01.

If you want to spontaneously catch up with a friend, you’ll need to go and find them. Turning up unannounced is common courtesy. We love it when a friend appears. If your friend isn’t there, knock up their neighbour* to see if they know where they are or visit known haunts. You will likely collect a few mates along the way and turn the whole thing into a memorable (and probably drunken) adventure.

*This can be a touch annoying if your neighbour is the local drug dealer and you are frequently woken in the small hours by stoners looking for Aron. It takes you a while to realise his part-time occupation. At first you think he’s just got an awful lot of friends!

A highlight of the day is checking your pigeon hole for post. With luck you’ll have at least a couple of letters from friends at other Unis or from family. Maybe even a parcel of treats! You will want to reply quickly, so be sure you have a plentiful supply of nice writing paper. This is a far more effective and pleasurable…

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