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The Elusive Female Orgasm

Sex-Ed

Why she’s not climaxing and how you may be the problem.

I ’m coming! If you’ve never had a woman say that to you during sex, you need to read this article. If you don’t hear that consistently during sex, you need to read this article. If you had to ask if she came, my guy, keep reading.

No one is born with an innate ability to make women cum. It’s something we learn through experience, whether personal or the experience of others.

I’ve been in a situation in which two minutes into the act, a woman pushed me off of her and said to me, “You’re not fucking me right.” That was it, sex over.

One time I came early, so I pretended the condom broke to save myself some embarrassment.

This isn’t a “men are bad” article or one that panders to women in an attempt to catch a few bodies. I’ve spent hours upon hours talking to women and researching this topic. Use what I’ve learned to better yourself. If your partner is happy and sexually satisfied, you will reap the benefits.

Let’s get started, shall we?

So many men don’t understand how a woman’s body works at all, much less how it operates when it comes to sex.

Speaking of skewers, cut your damn nails before you stick your fingers inside of her.

Remember, confidence>arrogance.

Your last partner might have liked to be slapped in the face and her hair pulled. But your current partner might swing on you if you try that. Not hitting a woman during sex without her consent might sound like common sense, but as the adage goes, “common sense ain’t common.”

So many men treat sex like a solo venture, as opposed to a joint partnership. Ask her what she wants! It’s not all about you and your dick. Don’t be too macho or afraid to ask her for coaching. She is the foremost expert on what she wants.

Communication is not the end all be all. You don’t want to be such a novice that she doesn’t have the time or patience to coach you. Being equipped with at least a decent set of skills is imperative to the sex not being a complete bust.

This means you and her have to be on the same page; your likes and dislikes should complement each other. If you like being submissive, and she likes dominating, that’s compatibility. If you both are strictly doms, things might not work out so well.

Sexual compatibility isn’t just about sexual interests; there might be other barriers hindering your harmony.

If you’re usually preoccupied with work and don’t have time to satisfy her consistently, then things might not work out. If she has a let’s call it a “small vagina,” and you’re walking around with a 3rd leg, you literally might not be a good fit for one another.

It is rarely the case you and your partner mesh so well you two are having phenomenal sex from the get-go. More often than not, you have to build up the compatibility. But sometimes, your sexual interests, lifestyle, and anatomy are so opposite that compatibility can’t be built up.

The woman who pushed me off of her during sex? It took some communication and a couple more tries, but we got to a point where we were having consistently great sex.

PATIENCE

It builds pleasure, suspense, anticipation, and it prepares her mentally and physically for what’s to come(see what I did there). If she isn’t wet enough when you go for penetration, it’s not time yet. Think of foreplay as a way to jumpstart the woman’s sex drive, a way to preheat the pussy if you will.

Most women like for you to start things slowly and gently before you speed it up and get rough. Stop trying to beat it up immediately. Some women don’t like fast/rough sex at all, or only on rare occasions and prefer you to maintain an R&B stroke. This is a literal case of different strokes for different folks.

Foreplay isn’t only about what happens immediately before penetration; it can start hours before sex. Sext her when she’s at work; she’ll be thinking about getting off, while she’s waiting to get off. Leave her a handwritten note inside her gym bag to let her know when she’s finished with her workout, you’re gonna work her out some more.

Sensuality has to do with the pleasing of the five senses, tying into sex obviously because sex involves stimulating the senses. But, you’d be surprised at how many of us don’t take this into account.

Focusing on just one or two senses is beginner shit. Level up and use them all to your advantage. Create an orgasm worthy environment/atmosphere.

Sight:

Hearing:

Y’all be scared to moan? I be in my girl’s ear like…

Smell:

Taste:

Touch:

I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that unfulfilling sex is not always our fault.

If you’re positive it’s not psychological, then I recommend speaking to your physician about it.

Casual sex, i.e., sex with no strings attached can be an orgasm blocker for at least three reasons:

Context matters a hell of a lot in the pursuit of the female orgasm. Context meaning the minute details surrounding the sex. You could do all the things to her that usually make her orgasm, but because she’s really upset at you for a previous offense, the orgasm might not happen. Or because of a very favorable circumstance such as you guys being on a couples sex retreat in Indonesia or something, the orgasm might be much easier to achieve. Always keep this in mind.

Whew, we’ve covered a lot of ground in this article. I know all of that might be hard to take in; let’s summarize everything we’ve gone over, shall we?

Random Fact: The Antechinus is a mouse-like Australian marsupial that has so much sex it dies. The male mates with several females for up to 14 hours per mate for around two weeks in total before his body breaks down, and he dies.

I’m not saying you have to put this much dedication into making your partner cum, but…

P.S.

I feel like the problem with articles like these are that pretty much only women end up reading them. Men think they already know what they need to know about pleasing women. I don’t want that to be the case for this article.

Legal Disclaimer:
I’m not a therapist, professional, counselor, or anything of the sort. I don’t have a degree in any of the stuff you just read. I actually don’t have a degree at all. I’m just a guy in my apartment who enjoys writing about this sort of stuff. If you need real professional help, get it from a real professional.

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