Who Do You Choose To Listen Too

This morning as I set the intention to receive something I could share. I remembered a large chunk of my life consisted of living based on the thoughts of others. To the point that even my own judgments were based on what other people MIGHT think! This led me to a distrust of self and the necessity of validation by something outside of myself. As a child I was directly and indirectly taught to seek counsel outside of myself. The adults around me were doing it, I was told to do it. Its all in the media, indecisiveness has become a normality. The incentive seemed to be that by receiving that validation you then acquired all the confidence necessary to complete whatever that goal/thought/idea was. Without it we become hesitant as if someone not agreeing with us is a sign that we shouldn’t do it.

Like many I became dissatisfied with where I was at in life and as I began this journey of self, the question to the answer I was looking for finally came. “Who, do you choose to listen to? I heard this a few times by a few different sources but during a meditation one morning everything clicked. I had just learned about the power of affirmations and as I used them for my mantra I met the person who’s been waiting to give me all the guidance and answers that I could ask for, Me. Who could want my happiness more than me? Who else can consistently feel my emotions? Once I finally concluded this self interrogation I was happy to feel a new sense of control. That feeling along with the slight fear I felt was all that validation I needed to know I was heading in the right direction. For a few moments I time traveled in my mind back to all these decisions I allowed others to make for me. I laughed to myself a little as I thought, “How can I expect someone on their own journey to tell me what I should do on mine? They don’t know the thoughts that keep me up at night, or how passionate I am about something. They have their own life to figure out and for me to make a life decision based on someone’s 10 second thought, is ludicrous. I came to the conclusion that it was more so selfish of me to ask of someone who is probably doing the same thing for their life. Once aware of this, I realized how misguided I had chosen to live my life.

As time has progressed it’s clear from my perspective that I only sought guidance because I didn’t believe in myself. The hard truth was that it was easier for me to handle something not going my way based on someone else’s advice, rather than taking accountability for my decision. This morning all these thoughts came flooding back to me. I smiled as I became aware of another teacher that’s always been with me. Validating who I am as long as I choose it. My accomplishments, not the ones we post/share for others to make us feel good about. I’m talking about how I wake up before the sun. How I’ve spent time building routines that build a greater self love. Those times where I thought life was over and I’m still here despite that. Healing past trauma through accountability. I’m sure you too have done some pretty amazing things on your own if you just think about it. As I live life on my own terms I am aware this perspective is definitely a grow point. It goes against what I have known for a majority of my life. Beyond that growth point, I became aware of my confidence, focus and of the love that flows through me. I have embarked on a journey of learning my way through life with a teacher who only wants to see me become the best version of myself. We all have that teacher within, the question is, Who Do You Choose To Listen To?

The you in me Loves you so much!

-3EBM

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